Croc Attack

The water was full of giant crocodiles. I fell in but luckily made it to shore. I ran into someone's home through the garage. No one was home but I quickly determined that it was not a safe haven. A small boy showed up and I told him he had to run away with me to get away from the crocodiles. We ran to someone else's home down the street who had a sliding glass door that locked. We went inside and explained to the matriarch about the crocodile attack and she understood. Everyone in the house made defense preparations. From the house, you could see people across the street getting pulled from their cars by the crocodiles. It was mass chaos. It was terrifying.

New Kitty Presents!

Max woke me up from my sleep to give me a gift. Two little kittens! A black one and a white one with grey spots. I named them Black and Jack. Hehehe, I'm so fun.

Then we went to La Madeleine. That is all.

Bang! Bang! You're Dead.

My horse and I were decked out in our Ren-Fair garb when we climbed into the 15-passenger van. There weren't any hotels in this town and we needed to gather our friends together to practice. My horse had a talent for playing dead. I think its my turn for the monologue.

To Be or Not To Be a Zombie?

I think I'm a zombie but I have no strong desire to eat anybody's living flesh. So, maybe I'm not a zombie? My commander is leading our small group and we are barricaded inside a warehouse of sorts. I don't know what's going on really but I feel safe.

Metallica's Hero of the Day song was playing in my head when I woke up. Wonder where that came from?

British Invasion

So, Ringo, Paul, and George came over to visit. I was trying to explain to them that my boyfriend, Glen Hansard, was from Glasgow or Gloucester or something else inherently British. Apparently, we met on the internet and I couldn't remember where he was from. George, who was admiring my tiled floor, was talking about the usefulness of tiles in temperate climates. Yes, I am cool.

I Hate Driving

So as I'm on my way home from Iraq via bicycle with Max, I come upon a house owned by my parents' old friends. My whole family is there as well as a bunch of people I've never met. They are all incredibly excited to see me. My mom and dad want to show me a surprise gift they bought for me. They take me to the garage and open it. Inside is a silver vehicle of some sort. It looks like an Apache attack helicopter on wheels. It has big metal letters on the front in a language I don't understand. The glass on the vehicle was in big, puzzle-shaped pieces. I'm assuming it was supposed to make it look modern. It looks like it fits 2 people. I am confused. My parents boast that they spent $20,000 on it. They want to take me for a spin. So, I get in. I admit to them that I already have a car and really, really don't need or necessarily like this one. My dad tries to explain that he can speed up the payments (as if that was supposed to make me feel better?).

As we drive around the city, people are staring. This is not a vehicle they have seen before either. We arrive back at the house and I am sad. I don't want this vehicle. By this time, the vehicle is no longer silver but black, green, and tan instead--like a military helicopter. Ugh. I really hated it. By now, we've aquired a Mexican dude who apparently is an expert on this vehicle and he speaks little English (my dad is translating). He says I need to learn to love the vehicle. Whatever.

When I get my turn behind the wheel, there is cardboard blocking the windshield and I cannot see anywhere except my left mirror and left window. I am very nervous driving this hunk of junk. I am driving down a muddy, puddle-ridden street. It is downhill and I'm going a bit faster than I'm comfortable with.

The End.

Next time I'm going to ask my parents for a BMW.

Samson?

After returning from the movies, my husband, Max, and I were back in our home (looked more like my CHU). I suddenly noticed that his hair was long, past his shoulders and very blonde. The ends were dyed different shades of blonde from bleach to obnoxious. The hair also looked as if it hadn't been combed in weeks. It was terrible!! I asked him to cut it immediately. He looked horrified!

Suddenly, a nurse who works with me at the hospital shows up and explains to me that when I asked Max to cut his hair it was as if I had stabbed him in the gut. What?!

Soooo.... weird or what?!

Jessica Biel?

Me, Max, Amara, Dianne, and Jessica Biel were celebrating Cinqo de Mayo in San Antonio, TX. Max and Jessica were blatantly flirting in front of me. We caught a movie, did some shopping, and finally ended up in a booth outside on the Riverwalk. I was so annoyed with their playful touching, and ridiculous laughter that I laid down the law. I said that I was going to start drinking and I told them not to flirt with each other. I had to talk to them like children. OOH! I was sooooooooo mad!

Then I got "called in" to work with my unit. We had to go on some mission. We ended up getting fired upon and I killed two Iraqis. When we returned to our base, I had to explain why I used my ammo. I was bewildered. Why give me ammo if I'm not supposed to use it?? Anyways, they "forgave" me and I was sent back to my life.

Instead of returning to my Cinqo de Mayo "fun", I went with a group of my buddies to what I can only describe as my childhood neighborhood. We found a little grassy area and began to paint. Our paint was actually sidewalk chalk that we found on the ground but when we put it to our canvases, it turned into oil paint. Interesting. The supervisor of this exercise came over to look at mine, I had just put my finishing coat of lip gloss over the entire canvas (?) and I was done. He said it was very well done. I didn't care much for mine, I was too curious as to what my friend next to me was painting (he wouldn't let me see).

Jungle Veins?

I was walking on a path through the jungle. There was someone with me, walking behind me--a friend perhaps, but I couldn't tell you who it was. There were cats in the trees, the water, and on the ground. A few were friendly enough to come up and let me pet them.

I am in my "living room" trying to talk to my little sister, Dianne, about spider veins. My mom will not leave (she's too excited) us alone to talk. I was getting seriously irritated and I finally exploded and made my mom leave. She does.

Super weird.

I Need Caffeine!

I went into the breakroom at work and looked for some coffee to steal. I wanted ground coffee but I'd settle for whole beans. Everytime I picked up a bag it turned into something else (similar to my shopping dreams). One time the bag turned into popcorn, another time it was tea bags. I gave up.

My "boyfriend" had proposed to me, so I thought, and I wore my two rings around my neck on a necklace. The girl he had actually proposed to needed the rings and I didn't want to give them up. I kept delaying and delaying until I couldn't any longer. I gave them to her but I was so sad. I wanted those pretty little things!