Going Home, Part One

I am at "Jacque's" house. "Jacque" is a blonde that I have never seen in my life and she is showing me her wedding album. It is a top secret wedding album because she had a joint ceremony with a celebrity and the media have been trying to get their hands on it. The celebrity was Katie Holmes, although she had long hair and I didn't see who SHE was marrying. Then I had to use the restroom but I couldn't close the door. The door had three parts: an upper part, a lower part, and a "screen". Unless you closed all three, you could still see out. I just gave up. Then "Jacque" came in and was offering to give me all kinds of hair products. I had a suspicion that they didn't belong to her, so I didn't take any. Then I left.

I went to a large German-style beer hall to meet up with my friends. I couldn't find them anywhere but I did find the pay phone. The pay phone had about $20 in change next to it--kind of like the 'take a penny, leave a penny' dish at the gas station. So, I couldn't find my friends and I leave again.

Now I am on a bus with the people from my unit headed to my old high school. They drop us off in the parking lot and we proceed to take a lot of "goodbye" pictures. We are apparently "coming home" from Iraq but there are no family or friends to greet us. The bus with the people from Tikrit shows up and we all cheer! We all hug and reunite.

The End because I had to pee.